Cow Flatulent Problem Solved by Inventor!

By Ron Russell

The EPA, under the leadership of the Obama administration, seems to have a blank check to do as they see fit to protect us all from the apocalyptic events of imminent global warming, no matter what the cost is to the average American. Smaller cars mandated by the feds, cap and trade is on its way, and now cow farts.

My good friend who lives right down the street and is somewhat of an inventor, has several patents on some rather obscure items. Recently he has been feverishly working in his garage after reading a similar article on "cow emissions". The other day he came by and showed me the product of his months of work, some of which was done under the cloak of secrecy. The device was small, about the size of a baseball and enclosed in a small black plastic case. Don, my friend, trembled as he showed me the small black box and began to explain how it worked. This device, he explained would burn off those terrible greenhouse gases before they melted the polar caps. The main component was a small computerized CH4 detector. For those who are not literate in chemistry CH4 is methane, the primary gas in cow flatulates. Don had installed a small spark igniter on one end of the device that would emit a spark when activated by the CH4 detector. Excited, he continued, saying that when installed near the rear end of a cow and CH4 was detected the activation would occur and a sudden flame would appear at the cow's anus opening. Quickly he let me know he had already tested the unique device on his brothers nearby farm. He then described how he installed the black box and how he had followed the cow around the barnyard for several hours waiting for the moment, and at one time thinking he had failed. But then he face glowed as he described the great event. Suddenly, and without warning a long flame shot from the cow's butt. Don said the cow was startled, but quickly regained her composure and continued as if nothing had happened. However, the same couldn't be said for the bull who was following along behind sniffing as bulls often do.

Yea, the above paragraph is fiction, but the story is meant to point out something that many often overlook. The law of unintended consequences. Don had a great idea, but he forgot about the bull.

by Ron Russell