TOTUS Monument

Inside sources at the White House have now confirmed that plans have been drawn up for the construction of a new monument in the nations capital. Although, the plans are somewhat sketchy, at this time some details have emerged. Funds for the new structure will come from items hidden in the new budget proposal under the Department of the Interior (cost is rumored to be an astounding 400 billion dollars). The new structure will reach a towering 1110 ft. and 10 2/8 inches high, thereby doubling the height of the Washington Monument which reaches a height of 555 ft and 5 1/8 inches. Studies to change existing laws governing the height of structures in the nations capital are now being undertaken in secret committee meetings in both the House and Senate. It has also been learned that some White House staffers have been sent to Brazil and have approached the chairman of the DNPM, Department of Mineral Production about the purchase of the worlds largest quartz crystal now housed at the Museum of Earth Sciences in Rio de Janiero. This amazing crystal weights a unbelievable 90,000 pounds (the need for this enormous crystal in the construction of the monument remains unclear, at this time). In addition our sources have learned that contacts have been made with Tiomin Resource Inc.--a multi-national company with large holdings in Kenya. Orders have already been placed with their mines at Mambrui, Kilifi and Kwale on the eastern Kenyan coast; for vast quantities of titanium that will be needed in this monument.

Mystery has surrounded this structure. What is it going to be? What is its purpose? Will it be a great monument to America's first black president. Finally the truth is out and we have the full picture. Welcome to the "Age of TOTUS". by Ron Russell

TOTUS

Obama Has Stinky Shorts

I don't care if he escapes
back to Kenya.
I'm not smelling those!!

White House Leaks Story of Obama's Kenyan Birth

Unidentified sources inside the White House are quietly revealing, what has just been a rumor up until this time, that Obama may have indeed been born in Kenya. It is believed that these revelations are coming now, as a result of the ongoing effort by some groups to get the original copy of his birth certificate made public. At this moment the complete details are sketchy, but some details are emerging. It now appears that Ann Dunham (Mrs Barack Hussein Obama, Sr) had returned to Kenya with her husband of only 6 month in mid-July of 1961 to meet members of his Kenyan family. It is thought that while on this visit Ann Dunham learned of Obama seniors earlier marriage to a woman named Kezia in 1954 and that the two were the parents of four children. According to White House sources Ann, distraught and shaken leaves the senior Obama and goes to the nearby capital city of Nairobi and fearing for her life at that time seeks refuse at the American Embassy there. At first the embassy officials were somewhat reluctant to admit the young wife, but upon hearing her story of the death threats leveled at her by the family of Kezia, Barack seniors true wife they decide to give the young obviously pregnant girl asylum in the embassy. According to recently released embassy records the embassy was over-flowing with American nationals at that particular time due to a sharp spike in black nationalist activities directed at whites in the country. Because of over-crowding in the embassy proper, Ann was given shelter in a small shed in the rear of the embassy, a shed formerly reserved for livestock. The livestock had been removed several months before. It was in this former stable, that Ann unexpectedly gives birth to Barack Hussein Obama II, the current President of the United States. The anonymous sources at the White House are quick to point out two things: first, President Obama was born on American soil (U.S. Embassy grounds are considered under international agreements to be part of the United States); second, the ONE was born in a stable (the source was quick to emphasize this fact) for what reason we are not sure! Finally the issue is settled, Obama was born on American soil with his humble beginnings in a stable---the message here well I'll leave that to you!

by Ron Russell

Tomorrow's News Today

Tomorrow's News Today

This is a story long overdue. Dateline Elpaso, Texas: ground was broke today on a new border security project. This will entail digging a 2000 mile long trench 15 feet deep and 100 feet wide from Brownville, Texas to San Diego, Ca. The dirt from the massive trench will be trucked to New Orleans and used to raise the hundreds of miles of levees surrounding that city. Additionally, once the trench is filled with water as estimated 200,000 alligators will be relocated from Florida (where they have become a nuisance) to the 2,000 mile long moat. This massive project which will solve the border problem, the Florida alligator problem, and the levee problem of New Orleans is the brain child of a young 12 year old girl from Liberty, Mississippi. President Sarah Palin is awarding the young girl "The Presidential Medal of Freedom", the nations highest civilian honor, at a special White House ceremony this coming Monday. The ceremony will be attended by former presidents Bill Clinton, H.W. Bush, and G.W. Bush. Vice President Jeb Bush will also attend the event. Former president Barack H. Obama is currently vacationing in Kenya and will not attend.
by Ron Russell

Some of the ideas for this post came via email with mention of "Maxines" no link available.

TOTUS, The Monument

Inside sources at the White House have now confirmed that plans have been drawn up for the construction of a new monument in the nations capital. Although, the plans are somewhat sketchy, at this time some details have emerged. Funds for the new structure will come from items hidden in the new budget proposal under the Department of the Interior (cost is rumored to be an astounding 400 billion dollars). The new structure will reach a towering 1110 ft. and 10 2/8 inches high, thereby doubling the height of the Washington Monument which reaches a height of 555 ft and 5 1/8 inches. Studies to change existing laws governing the height of structures in the nations capital are now being undertaken in secret committee meetings in both the House and Senate. It has also been learned that some White House staffers have been sent to Brazil and have approached the chairman of the DNPM, Department of Mineral Production about the purchase of the worlds largest quartz crystal now housed at the Museum of Earth Sciences in Rio de Janiero. This amazing crystal weights a unbelievable 90,000 pounds (the need for this enormous crystal in the construction of the monument remains unclear, at this time). In addition our sources have learned that contacts have been made with Tiomin Resource Inc.--a multi-national company with large holdings in Kenya. Orders have already been placed with their mines at Mambrui, Kilifi and Kwale on the eastern Kenyan coast; for vast quantities of titanium that will be needed in this monument.

Mystery has surrounded this structure. What is it going to be? What is its purpose? Will it be a great monument to America's first black president. Finally the truth is out and we have the full picture. Welcome to the "Age of TOTUS". by Ron Russell

Totus Monument

Inside sources at the White House have now confirmed that plans have been drawn up for the construction of a new monument in the nations capital. Although, the plans are somewhat sketchy, at this time some details have emerged. Funds for the new structure will come from items hidden in the new budget proposal under the Department of the Interior (cost is rumored to be an astounding 400 billion dollars). The new structure will reach a towering 1110 ft. and 10 2/8 inches high, thereby doubling the height of the Washington Monument which reaches a height of 555 ft and 5 1/8 inches. Studies to change existing laws governing the height of structures in the nations capital are now being undertaken in secret committee meetings in both the House and Senate. It has also been learned that some White House staffers have been sent to Brazil and have approached the chairman of the DNPM, Department of Mineral Production about the purchase of the worlds largest quartz crystal now housed at the Museum of Earth Sciences in Rio de Janiero. This amazing crystal weights a unbelievable 90,000 pounds (the need for this enormous crystal in the construction of the monument remains unclear, at this time). In addition our sources have learned that contacts have been made with Tiomin Resource Inc.--a multi-national company with large holdings in Kenya. Orders have already been placed with their mines at Mambrui, Kilifi and Kwale on the eastern Kenyan coast; for vast quantities of titanium that will be needed in this monument.

Mystery has surrounded this structure. What is it going to be? What is its purpose? Will it be a great monument to America's first black president. Finally the truth is out and we have the full picture. Welcome to the "Age of TOTUS". by Ron Russell